Flirting 101: An Intro to Flirting, 1% Bolder & Setting Intentions
Hey y’all Jason here, today I’m going to write about flirting. It’s Valentine season and let’s be honest, every season is a great season to flirt. NYE is sealed with a kiss, Valentine’s grows in marketing every year, sundress season, summer flings, cuffing season and then we rinse and repeat. I throw events and flirting is one of the prime ingredients to successful events along with a great room and great music. With that in mind, I’m going to write about flirting along with everything else because it’s as important as everything else; sex, romance, culture and maintenance. For now, let’s talk flirting.
The definition of flirting vs what we’re talking about. So here’s the thing, I get the textbook definition but for us in this space, let’s focus on the first half and not the second. The goal of your flirting is your own, but all in all, if you aren’t amused are you really flirting?
Why do we flirt? The biggest point of flirting to me, is control and influence over interactions. It’s not as nefarious as it can sound but life is about choices and reactions and flirting is one of your strongest tools in the proactive. It’s also exhilarating and fun.
I’ve been flirting with intention since 13. I started thinking about flirting when I was a just a kid when trying to figure out what about me, was attractive to women. I started acting on my thinking then and I’ve learned a lot about flirting since, in a technical and experiential sense.
I’ve been clumsy, shy, confident, embarrassed and like everyone on Earth. I’ve been a novice about flirting and I’d argue now that while I’m skilled, it’s more exciting to observe others flirt and see others get better at flirting. There are two things that I’ve learned that are paramount about flirting from a technical standpoint; one, is in knowing that you can get better at it and two, is being intentional about doing it. One is being bolder is a practice and the other is that setting intentions is essential to position yourself to flirt better.
On being 1% bolder. In flirting, and in life in general, being bolder gave me such a deep sense of thrill and with every successful attempt I felt more in control of my capabilities. Being bolder got me out of my head and into my body and things that were curiosities became simple and clear. “Does she like me” progressively became, “it’s going to be so fun when she likes me.” It’s fun to make this part a game, to push yourself, if only just a little bit whenever you get a chance. Which brings me to setting intentions.
Setting intentions to flirt better. Nothing great in life is done on accident and setting intentions is true be it in business or pleasure. Over the years I’ve found that my best experiences are the result of great company and a general idea of what type of experience I want to have. For you, the more specific you can be the more likely you are to have the experience you want. It’s like a combination of creating a coincidence and exerting your will over your own life.
Basic take aways for 101. Like all things, start with why, then let your why inform your intention setting and then over time, challenge yourself to progressively get 1% bolder every chance you get. I have so much more to say but I’ll save it for another post on another day. Also, read books, The Art of Seduction was a great read in my 20’s to get a good lay of the land on all things Flirting. As things happen this year I’ll share stories from me and friends about successes and failures in attempts at flirting.
