Flirt Class Saturday: On Momentum
Got Game? Have you ever played The Sims and tried to create a relationship between two characters? The act of building connection between two people in the moment is momentum in terms of flirting. There’s a million styles and it’s an interesting build, here’s how it feels for me.
The Warm Up. At this age, there is no need to force a flirt. Yes, there’s intention in establishing connection but as I told my homegirl, I simmer these days and flirt in plain sight. There’s no performative entry meaning I’m not in a rush to share my most intriguing bits and the idea is that, yes we will get there and I’m sure it’ll be fine. I don’t reveal the obvious unless it’s overwhelming, I met a model last month at a dating event and maybe the first thing I mentioned was how gorgeous she is, just to state the obvious so we can move on. We’re warming up, so getting to common ground to set a great base is essential so we can build a great momentary relationship.
The Rhythm. Flirting is all energy, so having someone interested is like nurturing a fragile fire and the game is to keep the fire going. For me the beauty is that I’m genuinely curious to get to know someone which allows for genuine questions which creates an organic cadence. This is the flow and discovery portion and when I was younger, the least important part of the flirting experience. Again, we’re building a great momentary relationship and we’ll reap what we sow, if we feed our conversation bullshit, we’ll get a shitty relationship and if we approach it with something real, we’ll get a real result. Much like sex, we don’t have to rush the rhythm, let’s keep the ball in the air and enjoy the play.
The Game Winner. This part is about the call to action or the close. It doesn’t have to be a buzzer beater, I’ve found that I like to set up our next steps in the middle of the rhythm section. The last woman I dated seriously I met her at an event and knew within one minute that we’d be going out on a date the next Tuesday and I proposed the idea to her about 2 hours later. I relieved a lot of pressure on both of us, took all confusion away and put all questions of "is this person feeling me” to bed by letting her know what I’m thinking. We kept vibing for another hour and delighted in each others company until the night was over knowing we set a base, built a momentary relationship and had a plan for the future.
Post Game. It doesn’t always work so well that you have a next step in the middle of a flirting sesh but the goal is to set a great base so you have options. Your goal is to spark an interest, nurture the spark and build a great experience.
Happy Saturday! Go flirt with somebody today :)
