State of the Union: On Love

Writing today was a bit difficult, not because I’m sad on this lovely Valentine’s day but because I’ve been deeply in my head about dating and relationships, really for a while now. Here’s some random thoughts where I am on love today.

I’m healing from a breakup that triggered an evolution. We pushed each other closer to our true north and I also saw another way to exist with someone. It raised my standard of what I want out of a relationship and how I invite women to participate in my life. It’s a super good thing because it makes my relationships with women much more clear in my mind which affects my actions.

I’m exploring the aspects of relationships. Since that experience, I haven’t been in a rush to date anyone seriously but I have been exploring sexuality, intimacy, care and connecting with women in general. I have these conversations daily, with women (cause my guys don’t really want to lol), about different topics. As an example, on dating this week it’s been about how unskilled people are at dating and why it’s not their fault. I’ll write about it another day but the premise is that no one teaches kids how to date and so, ignorance grows up. The more I dialog about dating, the more I discover and the better I feel about it all.

Flirting is fun. I’m really enjoying flirting when I get a chance. I wish I could articulate what it feels like for me to engage in a flirt sesh, my chest heats up, my eyes get a little wider and I’m def doing something with my hands lol.

I want a family and that’s okay to say. I love partnership, I love kids as we all do. I think it’s important to change our language around things that we actually want, and I want all the experiences, even with my crazy life. I talked to a friend the other day and she said that I’m not ready to settle down, I understood what she meant but I disagree. My life won’t be getting any simpler or slower but whoever my person is will understand and we’ll design our normal and “settled.” I do a lot of dope shit and I’d like a person to do it with.

I’m not interested in space fillers at the moment. A space filler is exactly as it sounds, someone who is just around so I’m not alone. I’m very connected to people so I’m never lonely and while I’m grateful that people like me at all, I’m just interested in building one on one more than popping out right now.

I’m optimistic about love. When I’m ready to get back into it, I’ll be very ready to nurture and participate in something very healthy and fun and that’s exciting. I’m looking forward to it! Happy Love Day to you and I’ll see you outside.