On Being Unique in a Competitive World
This piece was inspired by a few things; a conversation with my younger brother about dating, some queries about collaboration and challenges that competition presents. Stated plainly, people do the same things that we do and we can’t stop that, so over the years I’ve had to choose my attitude about it. For every Black Bar Crawl and The Set R&B, there’s 3 more bar crawls and 3 more R&B Parties and we have to choose how we feel about that reality. The simplest (and wrong) choice would be to take offense every time and take a combative mindset. Rather than that, I have my own principles that dictate how I deal with comparison, competition and what dictates our why.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Comparison as a regular practice is a bad habit to adopt. It’s useful in the short term to gain information and to provide direction but over time it’s a distraction that will influence your ability to think freely. I’m currently reading a book about founders of companies and a common thread is that the best solutions are rarely solved by groupthink, but by unique thinkers that innovate and push beyond the past. In a world of social media, constant comparisons will leave you feeling inadequate, even when you’re doing well. Take a peak around, but don’t make it a habit to live in other people’s worlds.
In a world of billions, there’s room for you. Not only is there room for you in the world, the world needs you to be uniquely you. When I first felt the pressure of competition it was about dates, planning my big events on competitive days was a financial risk. Then competition came in the form of content, which forced us to make a decision whether it’s worth it to keep doing the same events or to pivot and avoid conflict. Today, I’m used to conflicts and see it as a part of the creative process. There’s always room for more and there’s people that will support your ideas. Conflict is unavoidable and I base my willingness to compete simply on my personal plans. If I’d rather be somewhere other than my own event, I’ll plan around something else, otherwise the world is better with us producing our events as well.
Competition can be motivation AND the biggest distraction. One of my favorite books is called The Infinite Game and it’s about life and business theory. One of the first examples in the book is about the iPod vs the Zune music players and how the products evolved. Microsoft built the Zune to compete with Apple, it had superior features and quality but while they focused on that, Apple was trying to make their own iPod obsolete and boom, we get iPhones. The product Zune was inspired by competition but was ultimately a distraction. Apparently Microsoft is still doing okay, but I digress, I don’t root our identity in observation of others because it’s a distraction.
Have a strong why. For anything we do, we start with our why (which is also another great book, Start with Why). With so much competition in the world you have to have a great reason to work hard and not give up when faced with obstacles. It doesn’t have to be a romantic, world altering why, it just has to be important to you. We do trivia nights because I like it and it’s free and that’s enough for us to put effort into it. Over time, our why has changed and we’ve put more time into experiences that achieve a range of outputs working in travel, philanthropy (Lunchbag Social), politics (CBCALC Events), technology (The Black Tech Collective), education and investment. Also, your why is yours alone, you never have to explain why or why not you choose to do anything in life.
I love my life and I’m so grateful to do the things that I do and contribute to what we build and in order to keep going, healthy habits are essential. Competition is inevitable and comparison is unavoidable but with the right why nothing else matters when it comes to your goals. Keep pushing because the world needs you to be you.
